The Pointy End

Happy mid-week madness* everyone!

[*Disclaimer: as far as I know, there is no madness here. At least nothing clinically diagnosed.]

There is no doubt in my mind that I’m reaching the pointy end of this university trimester, where everything starts to get a little bit tighter and, as a first-time full-time university student, I start to feel the pinch a bit. I have two 2500 word assignments both due on the 23rd of September, a psychology exam a few days later and a political ideologies exam about a week after that. Of course, my brain is whirring with everything that I should be doing (like heaps of exam revision!) while also trying to stay on top of everyday course work, cleaning the house (which I haven’t done this week… oops), training and writing.

Oh yeah. Writing.

I haven’t worked on my novel since last week. I wrote for an hour on Thursday morning and I wrote for about 10 minutes on Friday and otherwise – nada. Poor form! I think I can be excused for taking a break while camping, since it was a beautiful opportunity to enjoy the stunning outdoors of Arkansas and spend some time wrapped up in nature with James, but I otherwise have no good reason. It’s so easy to get caught up in the never-ending black hole of university: it’s a self-generating problem, because there’s always more you can do. Sometimes I look at what still needs to be done in order to do well and I can feel myself freak out a bit: so I’ve been sacrificing writing. Is it four days a long time, in the scheme of things? Not really. Should I have done a better job of ensuring I was writing every day – undoubtedly.

It’s true what they say, when people argue if we want to prioritise something, we will.

Doing well in my study is important to me and I feel like there’s no excuse not to – so I’ve prioritised it recently. Since I’m not working while we’re over here, I have seemingly limitless time to devote to it, which sometimes means I get wildly caught up in doing more and more and more. How much of a difference that makes in the end result is  For me, I will write today. Even if it is just 15 minutes, I will work on my novel – though I’m feeling a little bit lost in all of the words I’ve created, and the knowledge that my novel is really lacking direction – and I will do so again tomorrow. And the day after. Even if it’s only fifteen minutes, I will write (bonus points and maybe some ice cream or something if I manage to make it to an hour).

Writing is a priority for me, and finishing this novel is important to me. Time is tight, but today, I choose writing.

— Ana.