Aussie Expats Update – What This Weekend Taught Us

Happy Monday everyone!!

I know I was remiss in not posting last Friday, but… Well, that happens sometimes.

I don’t know how many of you are active on Twitter, but I’m sure most people (in the US, and maybe outside of the US as well? If you’re able to avoid hearing about the US election campaign, I truly envy you and the beautiful life you must lead) heard about the repulsive comments revealed to have been made by Donald Trump in 2005. Thank god for video footage, right? Enriching all our lives.

Anyway, if you’re not on Twitter (seriously, it’s pretty great most of the time!), then you may not know about some of the fallout of the public airing of this footage. Not sure who started it all, but basically someone started the trending of #firstassaults. It was gut-wrenching. If you have never understood why feminism is important, you should read what was tweeted under this hashtag.

#firstassaults is why we need feminism. It’s why saying ‘not all men’ doesn’t help us, because it forgets that even while we’re trying to defend men, it’s something that has happened to most (if not all) women at some point in their lives. It’s why saying ‘oh he’s a good guy’ is breaking us down, infuriating us and degrading us; excusing those individuals who sexually assault or harass women perpetuates this problem. And reading #firstassaults is brutal, ugly and heartbreaking evidence of that fact that we have a problem.

I couldn’t even think of mine for ages because it didn’t really adversely affect me, but also because i was like ‘well I guess it’s not a big deal’. I was thirteen, on an international flight from Australia to France & a man sitting next to me touched my leg. At first I thought it was an accident, but when I moved away a bit, he kept touching me. Stroking his fingers along my thigh. I didn’t know what to do: I couldn’t find anything within myself to say something to him. So I jammed my leg against the seat divider so damn hard that his fingers were crushed, and luckily he backed off. I was alone in economy—my mum was up in business class—and I didn’t know what to do. They were serving a meal, and when I tried to get past the stewardess to reach my mum, they told me I couldn’t. I didn’t have the words to tell them what I needed, just that I needed to see my mum right now… But it wasn’t until we touched down on the other side that I could tell her what had happened. I may not remember much now, but I remember how panicked I felt. How terrified and helpless and unsure.

Remembering that makes me want to vomit.

How can we accept a society where millions of girls and young women are abused? Regardless of how ‘small’ an incident may seem (or be constructed to be by those who want to deny this issue), there can be no doubt that any situation where a woman is degraded or subjected to an interaction where she’s made to feel uncomfortable, that is something that is damaging women… And more than that, it’s damaging men too.

We need change. We need to fight for that change in our governments, in our schools, in our institutions and in our personal lives. Because if we wait and think that someone else will take care of it, that other people will sort it out without our intervention, then we’re part of the problem.

No, this problem isn’t new: but as the events of the weekend have blatantly illustrated, they’re not improving on their own either. Everyone deserves to feel safe, loved and valued—let’s build a world where that can be a reality.

— Ana.