Aussie Expats Update – Lesson of the Week

It’s Friday everyone.

FRIDAY. No, I don’t feel like I’m exaggerating when I say I’ve been waiting all week for this. Yeah, yeah, I know – I don’t have a job and I need to study over the weekend for my psychology exam next Tuesday. But don’t bring me down. I have left the house every damn day this week and I’m exhausted. Don’t get me wrong: most of it was good. I mean had an awesome brunch out at Jimmy’s Egg on Thursday (the farmer’s skillet is the business people: go and try it if you don’t believe me) even though I didn’t have room for a cinnamon roll. Anyway, such tragedies aside, I had some interesting experiences this week.

I donated blood on Monday. Oh man. Now, to provide some context, I am a Australian Red Cross donating veteran. I typically have an excellent iron count and every time someone looks at the inside of my arms, they say “oh wow, you’ve got such great veins.” [Yes, I am inordinately proud of this, even though I’ve realistically done nothing to earn said veins]. So donating for me usually isn’t a big deal. Plus, back home, they have really great cookies. Like… Amazing chocolate chip cookies. I have very strong feelings about chocolate chip cookies and helping to save lives, of course. So when I got asked at the Fort Sill Patriot Spouses Club if I’d like to get involved in the Fort Sill blood drive, I was pretty keen. I beetled on out to the on-base hospital on Monday morning with my water bottle and my book, ready to settle in and save the world.

Hardly surprisingly, the lovely woman from the Oklahoma Blood Institute who interviewed me expressed some admiration for my veins. Lulled into a false sense of security, I answered her questions, filled out some paperwork and waited for a free bed (I hate donating on my right side because I’m right-handed, so I had to wait for a bed with a left-hand arm rest). Sadly, I was then handed over to the care of another woman who – and this is where my previous emphasis on my wonderful veins starts to make more sense – struggled to find my veins. She even asked me if I’d donated before. I was a bit offended, and it just went downhill from there. She used what was essentially a plastic lollipop stick to press with all her weight into my arm to ‘mark my vein’ (seriously?), then jabbed a needle into me and says, “it’ll hurt for about thirty seconds or so.” Sorry, what? Says who? Every other time I’ve donated whole blood or plasma (bar one), there’s been a small pinch when the needle enters and then I may as well have forgotten it was in there. And when I had the temerity to mention that it was hurting, which I only did because it was REALLY hurting, she tells me not to worry and it’s all still in the thirty seconds. Where did that BS rule come from? Anyway, it hurt the whole time – I didn’t bother to tell her that, because not only did she obviously not really care, but I also did not want her touching me or that needle again – and when someone else came and removed said needle, it was also the painful end of a donation I’d ever experienced.

Seriously, there were wins all ’round on Monday. But want to know the best bit?

It still hurts people. NINETY-SIX HOURS LATER. Now, maybe it’s just me: but I think that’s criminal. Of course, I did the right thing and didn’t train on Monday afternoon: I’m not sure how much of a choice I had in the matter because my body mounted a furious rebellion against me just for doing the grocery shopping (double-bonus, I had to go twice, because Sam’s doesn’t stock normal human-sized servings of broccoli. Or Texas Toast. 32 slices is just too many for our freezer). But I did train Tuesday afternoon and I thought my head was going to wobble itself right off my neck and out the door. Every time I moved I seemed to get dizzy, my heart was pounding and my whole body felt sluggish, which made me crabby. Yet even that, I could maybe accept (begrudgingly). But ever since I donated, I’ve had a pinching at the needle site when extending my arm and I’ve bruised as well, which I never have before, and I officially strongly dislike this woman.

I’ve been scarred, both physically and metaphorically by the whole business. It’s very sad. Although, I’m now thinking of donating plasma and getting paid to do so because I’m broke and also because I’m broke. If that eventuates, I’ll report back with the details from amongst my gold and marble palace that I built using my plasma donation earnings. You’re all welcome to visit – except for that vampire woman from Monday.

Incidentally, probably my favourite thing about doing the Liebster Award on Wednesday (other than talking a lot of smack and having fun doing it) was reading other people’s incredible responses and then stalking whoever they nominated – and also back stalking through Nicole’s nominations and the amazing woman who also nominated her! – and finding all of these amazing new people on the internet. WHERE HAVE YOU ALL BEEN HIDING?! Get in my life beautiful digital people with your art and your poetry, your insightful blog posts, your terrifying/hilarious/delicately crafted stories. I’m really excited, in case anyone couldn’t tell.

We’re off to a party hosted by the Italians tonight, which we’re not planning on staying at for too long. What I want more than anything is to curl up with my human and have some time to ourselves without the constant external pressures of life asking us for anything (I’m sure no one is surprised then when I say: somedays, the thought of procreating terrifies me). I realised this morning that the long weekend in October falls after my political ideologies exam and I’m 99% certain we’re going to do sweet FA for a four-day period.

Have an amazing weekend wide world of the internet and associated entities! Wish me luck for exam study.

— Ana.